Talking tonight to an old friend, she told me she had gotten her Masters in the past couple of months, which set her back a few hundred dollars, but would really help her get a better paying job because a Masters is highly valued.

Stunned, I wasn't sure what to say. Having spent 5 years getting a Bachelors and another several getting a Masters, writing a thesis, and still being $13,000 in debt, I was deeply offended that someone would not only do this, but actually tell me, as though it were a bona fide degree equal to mine and all other graduates, and go out in the world claiming she had a Masters degree without doing the years of work it requires to get the education.

BUT, I also care about this person and didn't want to hurt her feelings, and so I bit my tongue and only asked, "Er...How did you get a Masters without a Bachelors?". Not necessary, apparently. A frivolous indulgance, silly requirement. Argh! All those years I wasted! Later, I researched the "University" she mentioned having a degree from, and it turns out it's a renowned diploma mill..."Graduates" can even order "university" sweatshirts, caps, and other paraphenalia from Cafe Press.

Why did I go to San Francisco State University when I could have gotten a degree from San Francisco Treat University in a week? I could have been a Roads Scholar, gone to Colombia, Yail, or Hervard. Barnyard is a good I.V. League school, right? Princetown, Stamford, Burkley, even Beigish-Brown, all within my reach. I coulda even graduated Come Loudly with a fraction of the effort it took me to earn those honors with my BA and MA at SFSU and Leiden. If I hadn't been so foolish...But a PhD may still be in the cards for next month. I'll keep you posted.

Where do I order my McCap and McGown?